porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
