I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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