You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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