The best revenge is premature balding
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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