he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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