on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
