lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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