I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize