At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
