I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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