Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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