Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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