Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
