He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
