What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
