btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
