he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
