are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
