I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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