Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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