So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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