one two three fourrrrnication!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Randomize