would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize