You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
