Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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