so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
