I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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