If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
