I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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