yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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