sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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