he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
