Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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