How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
