in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
