I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
