i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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