mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
