its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
