My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
