you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
