Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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