Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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