YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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