she looked like the bat from fern gully.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize