Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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