I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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