I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
