i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
