i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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