can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
