six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
