My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
