Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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