you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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