I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
