They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
