umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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