I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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