My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
