wat bout pragnant strippers??
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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