i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
