He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
