this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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